Top 50 Movies To Watch While Nursing a Hangover: 30-26
I know people who think this movie is really great. Although those people are wrong I will say, the movie isn’t boring. Johnny Depp starts out selling some pot in California and in about 20 pages worth of screenplay he becomes the biggest importer of cocaine in the United States. He sells a lot of cocaine, he does a lot of cocaine, he talks a lot about cocaine. But believe it or not, everything isn’t rosy in the life of a megaton cocaine importer and eventually, Things Go Bad and the poor guy ends up in prison. Anyway, I’m sure the guy whose life this movie was based on was incredibly exciting but, the excitement the movie provides lasts about as long as a cocaine high.
29. Men at Work
What an incredible metaphor this movie is for the careers of the co-stars. My judgment is telling me to just leave it at that.
28. The Last Boy Scout
I’ve really been trying to avoid using profanity when I write but for this, nothing else will do. Bruce Willis has the coolest fucking 5 o’clock shadow that has ever existed. Remember the Head Detective from In Loving Color? I wish they would have made a movie
Top 50 Movies To Watch While Nursing a Hangover: 35-31
35. Wild Wild West
When the credits roll on this masterpiece I promise, you will stare at the screen having been rendered speechless. This film exists in some alternate universe where, well, I don’t really know. I am completely incapable of even trying to explain what this movie is about. It is ostensibly set in the 19th
century but it has Will Smith using 21st
century pop jive. They still use six shooters and cannons but there is also a giant, steam powered, mechanical spider that is capable of shooting lasers. This is the type of movie that must really depress people who try to write movies for a living. Someone got paid a million dollars to write this and I assure you, if they gave my 3 year old daughter 140 million dollars and told her to make whatever movie popped into her head, she couldn’t do worse.
34. Midnight Run
You know, it’s not nearly as fun writing these when they are actually good movies. But what can I say, Midnight Run is a fantastic hangover movie. Sure, it’s an age old formula, actually it’s a couple of age old formulas in one movie. The odd couple on a road trip, how original. But the thing is,
The Wisdom of Jean Claude Van Damme
By chance or by providence, these jewels of wisdom found their way to me about a week ago. Since that discovery, I have probably made over a dozen passes at writing an introduction for them, but nothing measures up. It did not matter what I produced, nothing came close to the level of excellence that was to follow. So, as we have learned from the French, if you can’t win (or even if you can, but would rather not make the effort), just surrender. Ladies and gentlemen...the Wisdom of Jean Claude Van Damme.
A cookie has no soul, it's just a cookie. But before it was milk and eggs. And in eggs there's the potential for life.
My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she's good with the housework.
God gave me a great body and it's my duty to take care of my physical temple.
TOP 50 MOVIES TO WATCH WHILE NURSING A HANGOVER: 40-36
40. Deep Blue Sea
There once was a great period in American Film History where either LL Cool J or Samuel L Jackson was in every movie that needed a slick talking black guy. The genius of Deep Blue Sea is that it has both of them. It also has genetically modified sharks that are as smart as, oh I don’t know, maybe a rhinoceros? The movie doesn’t really make clear just how smart the sharks are but, they are certainly smarter than the people who wrote this screenplay.
39. The Running Man
I’m a child of the 80’s what can I say? I’ll always have a soft spot for Arnold Schwarzenegger murdering hundreds, and hundreds of people in the name of good. This movie (and the Stephen King story on which it was based) was actually fairly prophetic in predicting reality television and, America’s general apathy toward appalling violence. It’s The Hunger Games for my generation I suppose. At any rate,
An Open Letter to Wrestling Fans Everywhere
With Wrestlemania this weekend it’s the perfect time to stop and reflect on my trip to last years Mania in Arizona. But don’t click away from the page, as I’m not going to waste your time reviewing the show (Though we all love talking about the HBK/Taker epic encounter), I’m going to waste your time recounting the life shattering reality that hit me while attending the event, and hopefully improve your life in the meantime.
I know that being a wrestling fan makes me a little off, it’s something that I’ve grown to accept and almost embrace. But besides my diehard love for oiled up men rolling around in fake fights, I think
A Rare Dose of Cameronian Restraint
Does anyone out there remember the sex scene in the original Terminator? I was lucky enough to see the movie again last night and the years had caused me forget how tastefully done the erotica is. Reece and Sarah Conner have been through the ringer, running from an emotionless cyborg hell bent on killing them. Then they finally get some down time in a road side motel where they can make some pipe bombs and engage in coitus and James Cameron for once doesn’t go over the top. There are some shots
With the 83rd Academy Awards approaching this weekend we've compiled a few videos that deserve another look. Take these into consideration before we all find out who takes home the prizes on Sunday.
There were many actors and filmmakers who made a splash this year. Natalie Portman, Jesse Eisenberg and James Franco were just a few names that took a big step, taking them to another level of super-stardom. So take a look at the videos and enjoy the fireworks.
The Cage Method
Acting, in its earliest form, likely came well before technologies were developed to record or recount such events. The first known actor, Thespis, lived in the ancient Greek city of Icaria and is the earliest person known to perform for audiences as a character. From Thespis, comes the well-known actor term: thespian.
Actors, or thespians, are known to approach performances from a variety of directions, depending on their training. While some embrace the performance aspects of their art with grand deliveries and flamboyant body movements, others choose a more realistic, true-to-life approach known as ‘Method’ acting. Though neither is inherently better than the other, practitioners usually have strong feelings one way or the other.
Lust for a Dianetic Life
Tom Cruise is an enthusiastic guy. And why not? Blessed with good looks, a beautiful fake wife and a $20 million-a-film price tag; the guy has it made. Such zeal, however, pales in comparison to the pint-size actor's love for Scientology. Whereas intellectual curiosity and common sense fail to speak to Cruise, volcanoes and space aliens just makes sense. He doesn't just buy all the bull shit either...he sells it.
Doc Louis and Stanley Hudson
Though 25 years removed and living in alternate universes Stanley from The Office has an uncanny resemblance to Doc Louis, also know as the cornerman, in Mike Tyson's Punchout. It's almost as if when they were creating Stanley Hudson they modeled him after the Doc. Well done.